The Pumpking
by SoundfulKitty
Summary: Rockman catches Forte doing inappropriate things to a pumpkin. Forte, embarrassed, makes love to Rockman. Forte then leaves, and PharaohMan comes in, silly words are exchanged, and PharaohMan shows Forte his "sacred poles". Will Forte make love to PharaohMan? Note, it has silly lemon, not a serious fanfic by any means.
1. Chapter 1

**A/N: Another thing I made last year. Chapter 2 is quite witty if I say so myself.**

Forte was randomly sitting on the floor of the Net one day. He had with him a small pumpkin. He was bored and lonely so he decided to shove it up his ass.

The "shadow of the Net" inches the stem closer and gives it a lick. Not bad, he thought, so he gives it another, and another, and eventually he starts to shove it right into his throat. Now the pumpkin may be small, but the stem is long and curvy. But Forte manages to deep throat that thing as if he's done this to a million male NetNavis, and he most likely had too! But that's a secret.

Forte starts to get heated up in the action, licking the stem in circles, bobbing his head up and down the stem, sucking on it. Not too far off was Rockman. He is questioning, at first, what Forte is doing so close to his home, but now he's got a load of other more important questions. The second question on his mind is asking himself if Forte's stripes have grown bigger, they looked like they did...

Rockman's third question is rather suggestive, he was wondering why on earth Forte has such sexy yaoi hands...

Forte is on his back now, shoving the stem in and out of his mouth until he gets the thing so wet that he nearly came himself just imagining how erotic this felt. Then he takes the pumpkin stem out of his mouth, gets up on his knees, and places it near his bottom.

Rockman nearly shrieks in terror as he watches the black Navi start to sit down onto the stem, a look of erotic pleasure crossing his face, the deep blush, the tongue sticking out and everything. Forte is really pushing that stem inside, it gave Rockman such a hard-on that he thought he was gonna pass out.

Forte feels the stem fill up his wittle pooper so well that he grabs onto his hard, throbbing, desperate, aching bat ears with such force as he jams his body up and down the giant length.

Rockman begins to jack off so hard that his blue skin is tearing off, but he didn't care.

"AGH!" Forte shouts, feeling a huge sudden blood rush go straight up to his bat ears. He starts to stroke the top half harshly, throwing his head back in ecstasy, he shouts more and more, he wasn't saying anything, though at one point it sounded like he said "enema". No one can be sure, we have no proof.

And then Forte had his grand finale. He actually came out of the spot you would expect him too, really now did you think he could jack off his bat ears and have them ejaculate, no, the dude has a penis for that, yes I said penis dear god kill me now!

When Forte finished he just sat himself on the pumpkin, the giant thing still inside, and he looked up, only to see his long-time rival, Rockman.

He shouts, very high pitched might I add, and Rockman drops his dick as it spurted blue cheese and jumps back. Forte's next action was to take the pumpkin and throw it at Rockman, which he did, landing the fruit right at the blue Navi's face. Rockman, interested, picks it up and starts to lick the stem.

Forte gives Rockman a "wtf" look, then turns around and cries a bit before whipping back around just as Rockman starts to deep-throat the thing. Rockman finds Forte standing next to him.

"If you saw me do this then you have no choice, Rockman, I must defeat you, right here," Forte shows Rockman his hardened lollipop. "Right now."

Rockman finds Forte holding him down by the arms. The pumpkin is tossed aside for a brief moment as Forte starts to shove his dick into Rockman's butt. Rockman is in pain of course, and he is leaking fresh blood, which Forte smells and drools at. Forte then takes the pumpkin and starts to shove the stem right into Rockman's mouth.

Rockman gags, a lot, he even vomits six times, but Forte doesn't care. Finally Rockman feels the whole stem be shoved down his throat, the thing scratching at his virtual esophagus. Forte bounces the thing in and out, his fingers digging into the fruit so hard that it starts to leak pumpkin guts, just a bit, and a seed even fell out at one point.

Forte has his peak in no time, releasing all his babies that so many girls want inside of Rockman's tight, little hole. The pumpkin is removed, Rockman stays there as Forte cracks the fruit open, and dumps some candy onto Rockman's chest.

"There's candy inside?" Rockman asks, picking one up.

"Yes, but not just any candy, EVIL CANDY!" Forte turns around and starts to laugh maniacally as he runs away, tripping once, dropping candy everywhere, then getting back up and opening a Network place to leave.

Rockman ate the candy, but ew! They are all coconut!

* * *

Later that day, Forte sits, totally 100% alone this time, somewhere far away from his arch nemesis. He has a new pumpkin, a smaller stem, but the fruit is around the same size. This time he will fit the whole thing up his rear! He swears it!

As he starts to insert the stem not too far away are a pair of eyes watching. These eye belongs to the king of sex himself, another independent NetNavi; PharaohMan. And he likes what he sees...


	2. Chapter 2

PharaohMan rushes over to Forte, who just got done shoving an entire pumpkin up his rear. "OHMIGOSH!" He exclaims, "That was EPIC! You're a professional pumpkin shover!"

Forte yelps in shock, someone else spotted him! "I thought I was alone! Oh nooooooo the shame..."

"No, no, do not feel shame little one, as I said it was quite epic! In fact I admire your little butt, I wanna eat it! But I can't cause I'm basically a tombstone NetNavi!"

"I would eat myself if I could I'm damn tasty," Forte suddenly starts chewing his own arm. "Nom, nom, nom~"

PharaohMan inches forward, levitating over to the smaller NetNavi, "Would you care to f up the most sexiest NetNavi of them all?"

"Myself? That's basically what I do very so often anyway."

"No, no, I mean me, PharaohMan!"

"Ooooooooohhhhhhhh-hooooo-HO!" Forte grins wide, "Ok then! How do we perform the frickiest frackiest frick-frack of them all then?"

"Quite simple! You can hope onto my giant pole, and you can handle it cause I saw your shoving abilities just now!"

"Where's your pole at?"

"Right here."

And so right before anyone could do anything about anything in the whole world, really who wants to do something for the sake of others, a giant-ass pole about three feet tall appears on PharaohMan's body, poking forward. It is about four inches thick, pretty big, yup.

"What the actual hell I'm so not doing that, that's like too big I am going to die, nope."

"Oh come oooooonnnnn, you're a pro though! A pro shover! Show me what you got, chump!"

"This chump ain't no champ yet pal, that would like tear everything I own and don't own, since technically I did sell some parts of myself to others, don't ask."

"Uh, ok then...anyway, come on, on my pole."

"No, get someone else to do it."

"Please."

"No."

"Please."

"No."

"PLEASE!"

"NO!"

"OHMIGOSH YOU FAIL!"

"OHMIGISH GIIIRRRRL LIKE NO I AIN'T!" Forte snaps his fingers in a 'z' formation.

"I'm not a girl, clearly!"

"That pole doesn't count!"

"Yes it does."

"No it doesn't."

"Yes it does."

"No it doesn't."

"You really wanna see more of me?"

"Kinda...only cause I wanna know if it exists."

"Ok then! I'm so manly, I have two poles!"

"HOLY FRICKETH NO WAY!"

And so a second pole appears, popping up right next to the first one," Can't beat my swag," a pair of sunglasses appear over his eyes from nowhere, falling from the sky.

"Oh mannnnn, I need my swaggie points back. I had 69 of those buggers that I just lost! Because my manliness is so important I will indeed ride your sacred poles!"

"Because that totally makes you manly..."

"What was that?"

"Nothing."

"Ok, let me rub your poles so hard because I'm a pro at this too, just watch, and possibly learn."

Forte enjoys rubbing the other dude's poles, in a span of two seconds he went from lightly caressing to hardcore chafing. PharaohMan shrieks then as his pole-skin starts coming off. Forte jumps backward and shrieks as well.

"Why are you shrieking your skin isn't getting rubbed off!"

"Because your face is just so hideous!" Forte starts crying at this point. "But your poles are sooooo manly!"

"Stfu slave, get back to showing me some love! I am sexy! I also like grilled chicken! Not fried so much because I am on a diet!"

"You-! How dare you insult the greatest thing; fried chicken! For that I am going to ride your poles so hard that I might get a collapsed anus and possibly die! Okay here we go!" Forte pushes the Navi back so that he fell on his back, he then mounts PharaohMan and grins evilly.

"Oh yes, my little slut thing, whatever you're supposed to be, ride my hard poles. I wanna feel you."

Forte sits on the left pole, the thing is very thick, he can't even fit it up his butt. His eyes widen as he tries to force his way down. PharaohMan sees the struggle and isn't sure if he should laugh or cry. Laughing because Forte looks like he is really struggling hard to force the pole's way inside him, crying because there's so many stupid people in the world.

A ripping sound is heard. Forte's eyes widenen. PharaohMan's did too.

* * *

"Okay," the doctor says happily. "Well the muscles should go back eventually, we tried tapping them together but it didn't work, we tried glue, super glue! And we manage to get your butt back together!"

Forte, from his bed, looks at the pharaoh beside him, their eyes meet and then leave, the doctor continues.

"The glue will eventually wear off as your butt muscles mend, until then I wish you the best of luck!"

"So...you glued my butt together," Forte inquires.

"Pretty much, I mean we can't do shit in this world, no human would help you, cause they all hate you, NOW LEAVE YOU FUCKA!" The doctor pushes Forte right off the bed, "Drop the bass! Yeah!"

PharaohMan laughs as Forte falls on the floor, but Forte gets angry and shouts: "Y u no catch me?!"

"Y u make a meme joke?!"

"You suck."

"Speaking of suck you still need to work your magic on my sexy poles."

"No the fricketh fracketh up my tacketh way. I can't have my mouth glued too-HOW THE HELL DO I FUNCTION LIKE THIS?!"

"Like what?"

"MY BUTT IS GLUED TOGETHER!"

"Oh, well, you can just become a girl."

"What."

"Girls don't poop, duh, assuming you're concerned about pooping."

"Oh you're right, hang on," Forte grabs a saw sitting beside his table.

PharaohMan shouts, "I DIDN'T MEAN IT YOU MORON!"

But it was too late. Forte is a girl...sorta, technically not really.

"You need to cut yourself open and remove everything," the doctor points out.

"Ok, where are the bitches at."

From nowhere Roll walks in, "Hey guys, I heard-"

"GIMME YO OVARIES!"

"Waaaah it's that crazy batshit insane wannabe!" Roll starts running faster than a black man running from the cops.

The doctor suddenly looks at PharaohMan, "I have a confession, I'm not really a doctor." He grabs a zipper and starts to tug at it, "I am actually a toothpick," the zipper comes down all the way and a toothpick falls over.

PharaohMan starts looking around awkwardly "Okay then..."

Forte walks back in, "GUESS WHAT!"

"You ate a biscuit!"

"That too! But I am now a female! Can't you tell?"

"Uh, no," but PharaohMan did see a big scar rubbing down Forte's body.

"Oh, hang on a second," Forte grabs the scar and tears it open, exposing his insides which are rainbow colored. "See? Ovaries!"

And whattaya know there are not one but two ovaries just sitting there, they are the only part of him that isn't rainbow and instead pink. His manliness is gone.

"That's fucked up," The pharaoh Navi says.

"I don't think I can actually get pregnant though."

"Do you even have a vagina?"

"Uh, no, not yet, hang on," Forte sits back on the bed. He spreads his legs and aims the knife up.

"OH FUCK THIS MAN I AIN'T GONNA STAY HERE MUCH LONGER!" PharaohMan decides to never do cocaine ever again, or pick up random trashy hoes like Forte.

Perhaps he will only stick to woman, men are weird.

"Wait! Look at my new vagina!" Forte shouts as the other Navi flies out the window and off into the distance.

 **A/N: I hope you know this wasn't taken seriously like of whatsoever…**


End file.
